he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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