He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
