I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want to make out with him forever
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
