Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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