Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
BRING THE BAGELS
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
