Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
