drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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