do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
