thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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