My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
