Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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