Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
