can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
