Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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