I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
