Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
