I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
