my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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