Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
