he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I believe in your delicious
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
