I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
