he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
