They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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