why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
