dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
