It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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