Got a toothbrush?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
