i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
