I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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