So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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