and you said cock pushups were impossible
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
