like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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