if i can run in heels then i can drive
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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