"it" just moved
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
