I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
