Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
