I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
