idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
