The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
