Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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