West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
