"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
