The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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