paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
