Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
