I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
