ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
