I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
