highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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