my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
